


Let Me Help

by LoriLane33



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Supernatural AU - Freeform, Therapist Reader - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-03
Updated: 2019-06-02
Packaged: 2020-04-06 22:31:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 14,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19072003
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LoriLane33/pseuds/LoriLane33
Summary: AU where you grew up with the Winchesters because your dad was John’s best friend. After they die on a hunt, Dean spirals into self-hate. You can’t take it so you take off. Sam helps keep you grounded through texts/phone calls, also keeping it from Dean. Four years later, you are a therapist for civilians during the day and run a side business for hunters when your past comes back to haunt you.





	1. Part 1

**2006**

Your dad drove swiftly through the night aiming to arrive at the motel before sunrise. John Winchester had called the night before saying he had a case and needed some backup. This actually wasn’t the first time John had called asking for your daddy’s help. Many times throughout your eighteen years your dad would get a call and within the day you were waving goodbye to him and John from the doorway of some skeevy motel room, watching as the taillights on John’s truck faded in the distance.

You and the Winchester boys, Sam and Dean, had become friends this way. Finding a company in each other until your fathers returned. The three of you had become good friends, and you loved both of them to the ends of the earth. Sam was like the twin brother you didn’t know you wanted, and he was one of your best friends. On the other hand, the elder Winchester had always held your attention in a much different way. You had always cared about Dean more than you cared to admit, but you never let on that you had feelings for him. He could always make you laugh, and he always thought of other people when making decisions which you always admired about him.

This time was no different. Sam, Dean and yourself had long lost interest in watching their taillights fade though. You hugged your dad goodbye from inside the motel room as John loaded up the Impala.

“Bye, Daddy, you and John be safe, okay? Come back in one piece,” you told your dad as you felt him squeeze you close.

He kissed the top of your head before responding, “You know we will, sweetheart. It’s just a routine wendigo. We’ll be back before you know it.” He let go of you and opened the door to leave, “love you, princess. See you soon.” And with that, the door was closed. If only you’d known that that would be the last time you ever saw your dad.

A few days later, you were toweling your hair dry after a shower when you heard Dean on his phone behind you.

“Hey, Bobby, what’s new?” You felt something shift in the air as Dean listened to Bobby’s response.

Only hearing one side of the conversation, Dean continued, “Wh-what? You sure?” you turned around to face Dean and saw that his face was white as a sheet.

“You’re absolutely positive?” Another pause, “yeah, she’s here. Yes, sir. I’ll be sure and let her know.”

You walked over to Dean, his eyes glazed over. “Dean? Is everything okay? What did Bobby say?”

“Y/n, Bobby called to… he, uhh..,” He looked at you with tears in his eyes, “Y/n… both our dads are gone. They were killed by the Wendigo. I’m so sorry,” Your eyes filled with tears and your brain didn’t register anything past your dad being gone. Dean stood up and pulled you into his arms as you both cried. There nothing that could be said to make it all right. 

**Eight months later**

The three of you come stumbling into your motel room, worn and weary from the case. Your original findings showed that it was just a simple salt and burn, but when you three showed up it turned out to be much harder than you anticipated.

You walk up to the sink and turn on the water to start washing some of the grime off your face when you hear the boys’ groans of pain as they maneuver themselves onto the beds. Wincing, Sam looks at you and chuckles dryly, “Man, who would have thought those spirits would be such a pain in the ass? I thought for sure it was gonna be easy.”

“Sam, since when has anything ever been easy for us?” You hear Dean snap as he holds his hand to his bruised ribs, “we shouldn’t have screwed up like that. We could have been killed.”

Your brow furrows in confusion and hurt when you see the anger flash across his eyes, “What are you talking about, Dean? We did our research; everything we looked up said it was a salt and burn. We had no way of knowing just how bad it was going to be. We did the best we could.”

“No, we should have known that we needed backup. We were stupid! That spirit threw Sammy through the wall, and nearly killed you! That’s a lie and you know it Y/n. You know we could have done better. We SHOULD have done better.” You can see that he’s pissed; his eyes are gleaming with rage just simmering under the surface, and he’s obviously beating himself up for the hunt going wrong.

Suddenly Sam jumps in, cutting things off before they can escalate further, “Dean! Y/n is right. We did a good job tonight. We may have underestimated him, but we still got the job done and we’re all alive and better off for it. Getting injured is part of the territory, and you know that. Maybe we did need some backup. We’ll just work on finding someone we can call for those situations since we can’t call our dads anymore.” With a slight pause, Sam lets that sink in for the three of you and then continues with a sad smile, “it would be so nice if we could call them, wouldn’t it? They’d have backed us up without question.”

Dean’s pent up anger suddenly makes itself known. He turns on Sam and rips into him, “Are you kidding me?! You’re taking her side, Sammy? I can’t believe that you would even think about–”

Sam reaches out and roughly grabs Dean by the front of his jacket, “Dean! I’m not siding with her, man. I’m just saying-”

“There’s no middle ground here, Sam. Either you are with me, or you’re with her! YOU ALMOST GOT YOURSELF KILLED.”

“Dean, if you’d just listen to me! I understand that you’re pissed, okay?! We all are! But yelling at us isn’t going to bring Dad back! It’s not going to change what happened.”

“It shouldn’t have been them! I should have been the one to take that case instead of him. It should have been me that died! I can’t just sit here when it’s not okay! It’ll never be okay.”

If watching the Winchesters fighting over how dangerous the hunt was isn’t enough to break you, then hearing Dean carrying on about how it should have been him dying instead of John sure was. You’d been crushing on the eldest Winchester for as long as you could remember. He’d always taken special care of you when your dads were hunting. He’d give you some of his food, let you hog the blanket when you shared a bed, and he had even let you take showers first sometimes. Dean had always been there for you, and the way he would look at you with those piercing green eyes always made you feel safe and loved.

His one fatal flaw was that he carried the weight of the world on his shoulders; he always felt that he was the one responsible for all the lives of the people he loved, and that broke you. You couldn’t take how he was so angry with himself over the death of your two fathers. You couldn’t take how he kept feeling like he shouldn’t be the one alive.

You can’t take it anymore; he’s going to go off and kill himself at the rate he’s going.

Before you could second guess your thoughts, you were standing and across the room messily piling things into your bag. With tears in your eyes, you turned around and faced the two brothers. “Dean, your brother’s right. Yelling and carrying on isn’t going to solve a damn thing, and you tearing yourself apart because of John dying isn’t either! I’m done. I’m not going to sit here and watch you self-destruct.”

As Sam and Dean stood dumbfounded, processing your words, you took the opportunity to turn and walk out the door, leaving them behind and not looking back. Your tears start to fall as you reach the bus stop on the next block, your heartbreaking as you realize you are leaving the only people you can call family.

“I need to buy a one-way ticket, please,” you manage through your tears as you hand your credit card over to the teller behind the window.

“Where to, miss?”

“Anywhere but here.” The teller smiles as he hands you your card and ticket.


	2. Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Sam keep contact after you leave. After a few months, Sam convinces you to become a certified counselor to help people since you were so heartbroken over Dean and his struggles. That pans out and four years later you have a degree, and due to an old connection in Lawrence Sam found you a job in Lawrence. Months later, the boys have a case that takes them to Lawrence.

_“I need to buy a one-way ticket, please,” you manage through your tears as you hand your credit card over to the teller behind the window._

_“Where to, miss?”_

_“Anywhere but here.” The teller smiles as he hands you your card and ticket._

 

After leaving the Winchesters you had secretly kept in contact with Sam. He’d been one of your best friends growing up and you couldn’t bear the thought of cutting him out completely. You’d shared with him your frustrations about Dean and how it was breaking your heart watching him self-destruct. He understood and asked that even if you didn’t talk to Dean that you at least keep in contact with him every few months, or however long you felt was necessary.

You ended up keeping pretty consistent contact with him by calling every other week. Sam always looked forward to your calls because he felt he could always talk to you about anything. You were such an incredible listener and always seemed to know a way to help him, even if it was just listening to him rant about how Dean was still in that hole of his.

You had eventually found a job waitressing at a diner in some podunk town in Arkansas, wondering what the hell you were going to do. One day in your one-room apartment, you were on the phone with Sam, and he was helping you figure out a new career for you so you wouldn’t have to wait tables forever. The two of you had thrown some half-assed ideas around, not really taking any of them seriously (A brain surgeon? A judge for the federal courts?) That’s when Sam mentioned counseling. “You always have been so good at listening to me and helping me with my problems. Maybe it could be a good career for you… helping people like that. Maybe open a side practice for hunters? The life is really hard on people. Having a professional to help might not be a bad idea.”

“Sam, you really think getting paid to listen to people talk would be a good job for me?” You thought about it; you could have your normal practice and help everyday people, but on the side offer services for those who were in the life and looking for some relief from the pain. It actually sounded kind of perfect.

“Yeah, I really think you’d be awesome at it. Hey, I gotta run. Just, think about it okay? Talk soon.”

“Bye, Sam. Talk soon”

The more you thought about it, the more appealing it sounded. With the desire to help people settled in your heart, you’d gotten your counseling degree online (specializing in PTSD) and four years later you were in the process loading your stuff to move to Lawrence, KS, because a friend of Sam’s owed him a favor and got you in on an open practice downtown.

**Present Day**

Dean’s POV

Dean pads into the library with a beer in each hand, handing one to Sam as he reaches the table. “Hey. Any luck? We’ve been sitting for a couple of days and I’m getting antsy,” he smirks dryly.

He skims back through the information on the screen. “Yeah, actually I think I found something. Significant others are being killed by the other... No apparent break-ins… killer claiming they were somewhere else during the killing… sounds like a shapeshifter to me.”

“Yeah, anything new to it we haven’t seen before?” He questions as he takes a sip of beer.

“Nope. There have been four vics. We should probably head out today if we’re going to get there in time to help, though.”

“Sounds good. Leave in ten?” Dean starts heading back to his room to grab his bag when he hears Sam behind me.

“Yeah, it’s a bit of a drive to Lawrence.” So the hunt was back in Lawrence. Shrugging his shoulders he places his hand on his door and pushes open the door.

“Going back to Lawrence? Sounds good Sammy!” he tosses over his shoulder as he enters his room to pack.

Reader’s POV

Settling into Lawrence has been quite the adjustment. You’ve made friends with the other counselors in your building and one of them has actually invited you to her house this weekend for a BBQ. Living a civilian life is something you never thought you would have, or even want for that matter, and having it in your grasp so suddenly is almost alien. But helping civilians with their issues, as well as hunters has been so rewarding. You wouldn’t trade this for anything.

But. The hunter in you is very aware that there’s a possible shapeshifter running loose in Lawrence and your first instinct was to text Sam and let him know. If anyone could make everything better it’s the Winchesters. At least you hoped they would come.

You are locking up your office for the night, conversing with the new receptionist Abby. She’d only been there a few short weeks but the two of you get along really well and you already think of her as a friend.

“… I just hope I can get Paul to agree to it,” Abby finished, smiling widely.

You feel your phone buzz in your hand. Looking at your screen, your heart leaps as you see a text from Sam: ‘We’re on our way. Be there tomorrow night.’ “Yeah, I totally get it Abby. Good luck with everything, and I’ll see you tomorrow! Don’t forget to lock the front door when you leave.”

Smiling to yourself you look at Sam’s text again. It had been years since you’d seen the two brothers. But you’d left for a good reason and Dean was in a very dark place when you walked out of that motel room. The elder Winchester will always hold your heart. He just doesn’t know it, and watching him nosedive like that was too much for you to handle. Sam had always been your best friend though. He had kept you in the loop on how Dean was doing and other happenings in their lives, and also helped you get this job.

With the opportunity presented, you can’t resist texting back: ‘Sounds good. How’s Dean? Does he know I live here yet?’

The reply quicker than before, your phone buzzes as you get into your car: ‘Not yet. I feel like that’s not my information to give out. Either way, you know I support you 100%. Any chance we could meet up? I miss my sister! :)’

You smile widely as you read his reply, his request to see you after so long reminding you that it wasn’t just Dean you had left and that you missed Sam just as much.

‘Sure! How about lunch at a place around the corner from my office at some point? Just text me when.’

‘Sounds good, Y/n. You know I love you, stay safe okay? See you soon.’

You can’t believe that after four years you finally get to see Sam again. You just wish that Dean wouldn’t be mad if he found out. You don’t want him to hate you for avoiding him all this time, so you decide to just keep it to yourself for now.

The Next Day

You’re filing some paperwork in your office during a break in clients when your phone buzzes.

‘Hey, Dean and I are doing some questioning this morning. We’ll probably split up to cover more ground. Want to meet up for lunch after I finish?’

You respond quickly. ‘Of course! I’m buying. :)’

‘Oh, so you’re wearing the pants in this relationship now?’

With a giggle, you text back, ‘Of course, Sammy! Haven’t I always? ;) But seriously. Let me buy because I want to pay you back for helping me get this job. I owe you!’

‘Whatever, weirdo. See you at 12:30.’

‘See you soon!’

Your lunch period finally rolls around. “Hey, Abby. I’m meeting an old friend for lunch. I’ll be back as soon as I can. I don’t think I have an appointment until two, but if someone shows up, please reschedule them. I’m not sure how long this meeting will take.”

“Okay, Y/n,” she replies with a smirk and a wink. “Don’t you worry. I’ll make sure your schedule stays clear.”

You roll your eyes in response and quip back, “It’s not like that! He’s practically my twin. We were raised together.”

“Well in THAT case, have a wonderful lunch, Y/n.” She smiles brightly as you exit the office and into the noonday sun.

Dean’s POV

“Okay, thank you, ma’am. You have a wonderful day now.” Dean walks back out to Baby, pulls open her door and climbs in.

His stomach growls as he pulls away from the curb, and he mumbles to himself, “man, I think I’m gonna hit up someplace and grab some food before I head back to the motel.”

Seeing a cafe, he pulls into a parking spot and gets out, glancing into the diner through the window, noticing that Sam apparently had the same idea. He can see Sam through the glass sitting with a y/h/c woman, laughing and enjoying what looked to be a good conversation. ‘Good for him,’ he thinks to himself, ‘Sammy deserves something good.’

Not wanting to interrupt, Dean walks in and immediately finds a place at the bar and sits down, flagging down a waitress so he can order. After he orders he glances over his shoulder to peek at Sam and smiles to himself, happy that Sam found a girl. ‘Hell, maybe the kid will actually get laid this time around.’

Turning back around, he goes to take a sip of his drink when he hears it. A sound that has haunted his thoughts and dreams for over four years. His body freezes and his eyes go wide. ‘It can’t be. She took off four years ago,’ he frantically thinks to himself. Then he hears it again. Your laugh was a sound that he had missed since the day she left. Trying to figure out where she is at Dean once again turns around, suddenly regretting his decision. You’re sitting with none other than Sam. Dean’s blood boils. He then realizes that Sam must have been in contact with you the entire time because your meeting doesn’t seem like a chance meeting at a cafe.

Livid, Dean leaves his chair and stalks over to the table where you and Sam are sitting. Sam looks up from your face and the color drains from his as his eyes widen. “Oh… Um. Hey, Dean.”


	3. Part 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this part Dean confronts Sam on the stunt he pulled, and shit kinda hits the fan. That’s about it for this one. Pissy Dean shows up.

_Turning back around, he goes to take a sip of his drink when he hears it. A sound that has haunted his thoughts and dreams for over four years. His body freezes and his eyes go wide. ‘It can’t be. She took off four years ago,’ he frantically thinks to himself. Then he hears it again. Your laugh was a sound that he had missed since the day she left. Trying to figure out where she is at Dean once again turns around, suddenly regretting his decision. You’re sitting with none other than Sam. Dean’s blood boils. He then realizes that Sam must have been in contact with you the entire time because your meeting doesn’t seem like a chance meeting at a cafe._

_Livid, Dean leaves his chair and stalks over to the table where you and Sam are sitting. Sam looks up from your face and the color drains from his as his eyes widen. “Oh… Um. Hey, Dean.”_

 

Dean’s POV

Fists clenched, body ridged, Dean replies, “Sam… get to the car. Now. We’ve got work to do.” Facing you he adds through a tight smile, “Y/N, it was good to see you. Glad to see you’re doing well.” Turning and practically shoving Sam out the door, the boys leave in a huff and the whole scene is over, leaving you utterly speechless.

Dean is so angry he’s speechless. Sam is sitting next to him just waiting for him to explode, but it doesn’t happen the entire drive to the motel. Hurt and angry, Dean is thinking about where to even start with Sam when they arrive back, but he’s struggling to even think straight.

Pulling into the motel parking lot, Dean turns off the car and gets out, roughly shutting Baby’s door without even looking at Sam. He’s wearing a hole into the carpet while running his hand through his hair when Sam walks in, pacing in fury.

As soon as the door is shut Dean lunges and Sam and throws a right hook, connecting firmly with Sam’s face, sending Sam reeling against the door. His hand flies to his jaw as he tries to regain his balance. Dean’s suddenly in his face. “So’s there anything you wanna tell me, Sammy? Maybe, oh I don’t know, why the _HELL_ I saw you with Y/N today?!”

Sam’s hand flies to cradle his jaw, shoving past Dean in the process. “Okay, yeah. I deserved that one, Dean. I’m sorry you had to find out this way.”

“Sorry? You’re sorry?!? Oh, that’s rich. How long, Sam? How long have you been talking to her behind my back?”

Still holding his jaw, Sam moves to the bed to sit down. “Dean, look. I know I screwed up okay? But with how you were… you know what? Just, listen. Don’t talk, don’t think, don’t fume, just listen. I’ll explain everything. Please, sit down. Your pacing is going to make me sick.”

Slowing his movements Dean looks at Sam warily and decides he’s curious enough to listen to the request. Soon after he finds himself sitting on the bed across from Sam, pointedly not making eye contact for fear of wanting to punch him in the face again. His jaw remains clenched.

“Okay,” Dean nods slowly, “I wanna know everything. Why the hell did you keep this from me?”

Sam’s smile is small and hesitant as he continues. “Yes. Y/N left us four years ago, and I’ve been in contact with her the entire time. No, I didn’t do it to spite you. She was hurting Dean, real bad. You were a mess after Dad died and she just couldn’t take it. So she left.”

Dean looks up at this, pain evident under the anger still in his eyes as Sam continues. “At first, my goal was to make sure she was doing okay until she could get her feet under her. She’d call every other week to check in and see how you were doing. I thought that after she settled in Arkansas she’d stop calling. But then we started looking forward to talking to each other. We kept each other grounded. She’s practically our sister, Dean and I missed her. A lot.” He runs his hand through his long locks in frustration.

“I missed the conversations we used to have. I started talking to her about what was going on here, and it made it easier. You were so self-deprecating; always talking about how it was you that deserved to die, not Dad. We’d have conversations about hunts and about how I was dealing with the aftermath of some of them, and I started to feel like she was helping me more than I was helping her.”

Not being able to contain his frustration, Dean swiftly stands and once again starts pacing; Sam can almost feel him thinking and processing everything. Dean reaches up and pinches the bridge of his nose to steel himself for the rest of the story. 

Sam continues, “A few months after she left she was talking about finding a new career that didn’t involve waiting tables, so the two of us talked about it and I mentioned that she’d be a fantastic counselor; maybe even offering a side practice for hunters. She was handling my venting to her like a pro, and has always been really good at connecting with people.”

Dean smirks and nods his head in agreement. He knew exactly how good she was at connecting with people. “She got her degree online within the next year or so and I used some old connections here to find her a job. Dean, she’s doing really well. After watching you on your way to self-destruction she decided she wanted to help hunters. She loves you so much, Dean, and watching you blow up in front of her and not being able to do a damned thing about it killed her. Please. Don’t be angry with her,” Sam pleads. He lets out a breath he didn’t know he’d been holding, signaling the end of his explanation.

Dean looks at Sam, processing the information he’s been given. Suddenly he’s across the room and in Sam’s face. “That’s awesome that she was willing to help you like that. I really don’t care if you had a list of a million reasons why she left. The fact is that _you lied_ to me. You kept her from me! FOR FOUR YEARS SAM!!! Who says you were the only one who missed her?! And regardless of her being close to us, you’re my brother, Sam!! And family just don’t pull that shit!! I’m outta here.” Before Sam can respond Dean has grabbed his coat and is slamming the motel door. He can hear Baby revving as Dean peels out of the parking lot.

Sam sighs as he once again places a hand gently to his jaw. “Well. That went well.” 

Dean sits at the bar staring at his glass of whiskey, idly playing with the glass. He’d arrived here and had every intention of getting completely drunk, which is exactly what he did.

Kyle, the college kid behind the bar, comes up to Dean. “ Anything else I can get you, sir?”

“What’s with the ‘sir’ nonsense, kid? I sure as hell ain’t no ‘sir,’” he mumbles. Kyle smiles at him sadly as he continues. “I could just strangle my brother Sammy and Y/N. Did you know they lied to me for _four_ years?”

“No, I don’t believe I knew that,” Kyle replies, when in fact he does know that. He knows everything because Dean ranted about it all as soon as he had a few drinks under his belt.

“Well, they did! Those bastards _lied_ to me. How dare they! They’re my family. That’s not what family does.” Dean looks at Kyle, and Kyle instantly feels sorry for the man. It’s apparent that what Sam and Y/N did has really torn him up.

“You know, it might help if you go talk to your brother about this instead of me. It sounds like you two have a lot to talk about, and he needs to hear what you have to say, man.” Kyle places a glass of water in front of Dean. “Drink this, and then promise me you’ll walk back to where you’re staying and talk to him.”

By this point, Dean is so drunk that he numbly agrees. “Okay, yeah. That’s a good idea.” Setting down enough bills to cover his tab, he shoves away from the bar and heads out. Getting into Baby he starts her up and lets her idle for a second, then pulls her out into traffic.

He’s sitting at a stop sign, about to turn left to head back to the motel when he sees you heading in the opposite direction. Before he can really think about what he’s doing he’s turned right and is tailing you, hoping to talk to you about what happened. Soon enough he’s stopped a few houses down from yours, watching you walk in your front door carrying some grocery sacks, the front door closing behind you.

Not wanting to make it obvious that he’d followed you he waits a few minutes before quietly idling Baby up to the front of your house, turning her off and stepping out. Moving up your sidewalk and to the front door, Dean finds himself hesitating to knock. A brief second of worrying about what the hell he was doing there passes and then his knuckles are rapping roughly on the door.


	4. Part 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is now drunk and at the front door of Y/n, and he’s peeved. Hurt feelings, drunken shenanigans. Yeah. Lots of talking though.

Reader’s POV

You’re putting your frozen pizza away when you hear someone knocking at your door. ‘Who on earth could be knocking at my door this late? I hope something bad hasn’t happened..’ you wonder to yourself as you quickly close the freezer door and hurry to the front door. As you open the door you start, “Mrs. Sandoval, I don’t know why y-” your body freezes as you make eye contact with a pair of mossy green eyes. “Dean?” you whisper as your hand flies to your mouth to silence a cry.

Dean Winchester is standing before you in the flesh. Tears prick the corner of your eyes and you continue. “Dean, is that really you?”

“Yeah, it’s really me. Listen, Y/n. We need to talk. Now.” Before you can begin to shut your door Dean is shouldering his way into your living room.

“Dean, you shouldn’t be here. You’re drunk.” You lean against the back of your front door, watching him 

Turning around to look at you, Dean replies. “No. I’m not leaving until we talk, Y/n. You at least owe it to me to talk.”

“You are going to regret this in the morning, Dean. You’re drunk and not thinking straight,” he continues to look at you. His brows furrow suddenly. 

“Damn it, Y/n! I’m not drunk enough to forget what you did. Having Sam keep you from me for _four years_?! How could you do that to me, huh?!” Dean starts ranting. “You just took off and cut all ties! Well, apparently not _all_ ties because Sam’s been talking to you behind my back the entire time.”

Slowly you start walking towards the couch where Dean is standing, “Okay, Dean. You’re right. I ran from you without any explanation. And I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry?! How could you keep contact with Sam over me, huh? Y/n, I thought we were closer than that. I thought we had something special.” Dean takes a breath and continues, “It was always me and you against everyone. What happened to that? You should have kept in contact with _me_ if anyone, not Sam.”

“Dean.. You were in a really bad place. And I just-” You look up when he cuts you off.

“You just what? Decided that Sam was a better friend than me? That’s what I figured. You deserve a person in your life that you can count on. That’s definitely never been me,” Dean concludes, deciding to sit down on the couch. “It’s probably better that you chose Sam over me anyway, Y/n. Everyone who stays close to me in my life is in danger and usually ends up dying.”

“Dean, you want to know why I left? The honest truth?” You leave your spot at the front door and walk over towards the couch. You look at him and respond calmly, “Wanna know why I left? I left because you pull this. Exactly what you’re doing right now. Dean, you get in this headspace and just tear yourself down constantly. I just couldn’t take it anymore, so I did what I thought was best. I removed myself from the situation.”

“Y/n, how are you so calm right now? I pushed you away. ” He looks at you, trying to figure out why you’re not reacting how he thought you would.

With a small smile, you respond “I forgave you as soon as I left. I’m okay, really. I’m living a good life here, Dean.”

“You should be seething with anger though! You left because you were mad at me! You have every right to be angry!” He hopes he sees some sort of reaction, but you remain calm.

“Dean. I’m not angry with you anymore.” You smile a small smile. Dean suddenly jumps up from his seat on the couch and begins pacing.

“You have every right to get angry! I don’t understand how you can _not_ be pissed. I have no idea how you would _not_ be pissed.” Silently you watch him. You know he rarely uses his words to express his emotions, so now that he’s on a roll you’re not going to stop him.

“Yell at me, slap me, kick me out! DO SOMETHING! You _have_ to be mad at me! You can’t just sit there and tell me it’s not a big deal!!” You finally decide to ask him just one question.

Calmly, you ask your question. “Dean, is that really what you want me to do? Tell you how pissed I am, slap you across the face and kick you out?”

Finally stopping, he warily looks at you. “Hell yeah. _Anything_ would be better than you just sitting here taking it like a champ. I can’t walk away knowing that you’ve forgiven me because quite frankly I don’t deserve to be forgiven. You know what? It was a mistake to come here. I’m outta here. Have a good life, Y/n.”

Now it’s your turn to jump out of your seat as you run to block the front door. “Whoa there, big boy. Not so fast. You’re so drunk right now, I’m amazed you didn’t wreck Baby on your way here. No way in hell I’m letting you leave like this. Gimme your keys.”

“Y/n, I’m fine. Just move.” You cross your arms, throwing him a bitch face better than Sam’s.

He gives you a serious eye roll and you respond sternly. “No way. Keys, Dean. Now.”

Sighing, he relents and gives you the keys. “Fine, Y/n. You win. I guess you want me to take the couch, huh.”

“That’s right, champ. Take your coat and your boots off, and I’ll go get some blankets for the couch. You’re not going anywhere tonight.”

“Fine!” He snaps at your retreating form down the hall.

When you reach your bedroom you quickly pull out your phone and text Sam, letting him know about Dean.

*Hey Sam, Dean showed up on my doorstep completely tanked. I’m not letting him drive back to the motel, he’s crashing on my couch tonight.*

He doesn’t reply right away, so you assume he’s doing research on the case. Grabbing some blankets and a pillow, you meet Dean back in the living room.

“Dean, here are some-” But your comment about the blankets dies on your lips as you see him passed out on the couch, already sleeping soundly. “Well, so much for making up the couch.”

You set the pillow down on the coffee table in front of Dean and unfold the blanket, covering him and letting it settle over him. Sitting down on the edge of the couch you whisper to him, “Dean, I’m not angry with you. I could never be angry with you because I love you too much to hate you.” You lean forward and softly place a kiss his brow, get up and turn off the lights. Padding down the hall to your own bed, you shut your door behind you and settle into bed for the night.


	5. Part 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It’s the morning after Dean’s drunken confrontation, and he’s feeling a bit guilty. Your favorite green eyed hunter also comes to a realization.

Reader’s POV

Sun is shining through your curtains as you stretch in bed, thinking about the events of the night before. ‘Why had Dean seemed so upset that you’d keep in contact with Sam over him? He hadn’t been in a place to care.’ Realizing you still have a hungover man on your couch you throw on some shorts under your t-shirt and head to check on him.

Arriving in your living room you lean over the back of the couch quietly to check on Dean, noticing that he had grabbed the pillow at some point in the night and is currently cuddling the hell out of it. Chuckling to yourself you leave him be, letting him sleep off as much of last night as possible. You decide to make breakfast for the green-eyed hunter as a peace offering, hoping to ease the tension between the two so you turn and head to the kitchen.

While you are cooking scrambled eggs, you turn away to get out some water and Tylenol for Dean. As you rummage around in the cabinet for the tylenol you hear a loud groan followed by the sounds of a body shifting coming from the living room. Smiling to yourself, you quickly plate the finished eggs and put it all on a tray to take into the living room for Dean.

You set the tray of food on the coffee table, and sit on the edge of the couch. Reaching for the meds and water you gently say, “Hey, Dean. You should probably roll over and take this before the hangover hits too hard.”

“Noooo. Five more minutes, y/n.” You vaguely make out coming from under the pillow.

“Dean, come on. I know you have to work on the case today and the last thing you need is a wicked hangover on top of that.” Placing your hand on his shoulder you start to lightly nudge him.

With a groan, Dean reluctantly rolls over, squinting out from under his blanket at the ceiling. “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. And then he reversed and ran over me.” He starts to slowly make his way out of his blanket burrito and sits up. Taking the Tylenol from you, he looks anywhere but at you. “Thanks, y/n,” he mumbles and reaches for the water.

“No problem, Dean. I’ve got some eggs here for you too if you want them.” You smile and nod to the tray of food. “Figured you’d want something in your system.”

Still not looking at you Dean responds. “You really didn’t have to do that for me, y/n. I remember everything that happened last night and you have every right to be so pissed at me. I can’t believe I said some of those things.”

“Hey, Dean, it’s okay. If you remember what I said last night, I forgave you the second I left. I don’t hold any of last night against you. It’s been a long four years, and you had every right to be upset with me. It wasn’t fair of me.” You smile sadly, remembering how much not talking to Dean had hurt you.

“No. I shouldn’t have even been here. I was drunk. I should have gone back to the motel instead of coming here.” Dean is now at this point looking anywhere but at you, clearly avoiding you. He looks so hurt, like he’s upset with himself.

“Dean. Will you at least look at me?” You see his eyes close as he clenches his jaw and turns his face to the back of the couch. Placing your hand on his shoulder you ask again. “Dean? I want you to know that it’s all okay. Please look at me. ”

Dean still doesn’t budge, so you move your hand from his shoulder and gently place it on his stubbled cheek.

Dean’s POV

Your hand is so soft on his cheek and he can’t help but lean into your touch; the touch he’s missed and apparently craved for four years. Gently pulling him to face you, Dean finally looks at you, making eye contact with your striking y/e/c eyes. Suddenly, something settles in his chest. He suddenly feels like a teenager who is seeing his crush for the first time. He sees the way you are looking at him a realization comes to him. He’s in love with you. He’s been in love with you since you were kids. Looking at you, he sees the way you’re looking back.

Your eyes hold forgiveness as well as something else he can’t quite place. He wants to say love, but he knows that can’t be. Not with how he’s treated you. He realizes that the reason he’s been so angry about you staying in touch with his brother isn’t that he actually thinks it was unfair, but he’s been angry because he’s jealous of the fact that you chose Sam over him.

Taking a moment, he allows himself to look over your face. He notices how your hair is a different style and decides that this one fits you better. He notices the slope of your petite nose, almost like Cindy Lou from that one Christmas movie you enjoy so much. He notices the color of your eyes. A stormy blue, almost grey stares softly back at him and he can’t believe it took him this long to realize that he loves you. The smile you are sending him is encouraging to him and he thinks maybe you could love him back.

Another thought suddenly fills his mind and his heart plummets. You can’t possibly love him back… you left him without a word four years ago. There’s no way you would have left him if you really loved him. With that thought in mind, he closes his eyes and clenches his jaw again. Trying to reign in the emotions currently running through his mind.

“Y/n… I just.. I can’t-” Dean’s cell starts ringing and he pulls away to grab it. The caller ID tells him that it’s Sam. He sighs begrudgingly and answers it. “Hey, Sam.” He listens to Sam talking on the other end. “No, I’m okay. Just hungover.” Another pause, and Dean’s face falls as Sam mentions the police finding another victim. “Yeah, I’ll be there soon. Okay, see you soon. Bye.”

Looking at you, he sighs. “Sammy called with another vic. I gotta get goin’.” Sitting up he reluctantly pulls on his boots and watches as you take the tray of untouched food into the kitchen. Soon he’s standing and sliding into his coat, feeling for the keys that aren’t there. “Hey, y/n? You seen my keys?”

Coming around the corner you point to the coffee table. “Yeah, I set them right there. Didn’t want to put them somewhere where I’d forget where they were. Do you have to go? Feels like you just got here.” 

“Okay, thanks.” He responds as he leans down to grab his keys. “Yeah, I know. But we’ll have another chance to talk. I’m gonna head out. Listen, I’m still really sorry for how I acted last night. You didn’t deserve me showing up on your doorstep like that.”

Smiling at him, you walk to him and wrap your arms around his torso, placing your head on his chest. Seconds later he brings his arms up to hold you to him. “Dean, how many times do I have to tell you that it. Is. all. Right. This has been a crazy last day or so and we both have questions and things that we need to talk about. But right now, you need to go help your brother with this shape-shifter. We’ll talk later.”

He feels you pull away from him and look up at him, smiling that smile he has fallen for. He thinks for a second that you might kiss him. “Yeah, we definitely need to have a conversation later. But I gotta go, okay?” He leans forward and places a lingering kiss to your forehead, holding his lips there. He pulls his lips away just far enough to whisper into your skin, “I’ve missed you so much.” Pecking your forehead again, he finally lets go of you and walks out your front door. Continuing his stride until he’s at the door of Baby, sliding into her seat. Turning the ignition he lets her idle for a second before he heads off down the street.


	6. Part 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is dealing with the side effects of the almost conversation the two of you had that morning and comes to a realization. He also realizes that he has to tell you ASAP so he goes to find you.

Dean’s POV - a few hours later

Dean walks into the motel room hearing Sam right behind him. The door closes and he hears Sam’s voice. “Dean, what the hell man? You’ve been off your game all day. Almost forgetting your alias? You better have a good excuse for almost blowing it back there.” 

“Sam, it’s nothing okay? I’m just hungover is all.” Nervously glancing at Sam he hopes his answer will be enough to satisfy. 

Unfortunately for Dean Sam is throwing him a dry ‘fuck you’ look, effectively calling him on his bluff. “Dean, no hangover has ever been enough to mess with you like this. Come on man, it’s not really a hangover, is it? Just tell me what’s up.”

Dean looks at his shoes, trying his damnedest to avoid the conversation he knew was coming. “Is it y/n? What even happened last night? She text me to say you were crashing over there but didn’t say anything else.”

“Nothing happened.” Sam looks at him again waiting for him to continue. “Nothing happened, I swear! I went to the bar, drank a bit, was going to come here and talk to you about what happened. I was sitting at the stop sign and she passed by; before I knew it I was following her and knocking on her front door. I went there with every intention of telling her off and walking away from her like she did to me, but after I knocked on the door we ended up talking!” Dean starts to pace, nervously running his hand over his face.

“I was mad; she freaking forgave me, man! She wouldn’t react to anything I said, she just sat there calm as could be while I’m yelling and carrying on. I couldn’t handle it so I tried walking away, but she told me I couldn’t because I was drunk. Crashed on her couch and came to this morning. Sam, I said some awful things to her. But she freaking forgave me. How could she do that?”

Sam stands and reaches out for Dean, pausing his movement. “Dean, you know y/n. She’s not one to hold grudges. She would forgive you for anything. Trust me.”

“I don’t know man. Knowing that I hurt her all those years ago kills me. I was so horrible to her. Back then, and last night, too. It’s no wonder she left!”

Dean goes to sit on the bed. “We’ve been a part of her life for so long that I don’t think there’s anything she wouldn’t forgive us for. Dean, why is this getting so far under your skin? Did something else happen while you were over there?”

“Something else? Like what, Sam?” He looks terrified, eyes wide when he looks at Sam.

Smirking, Sam replies. “I’m not sure, but you look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“It’s just... The way she was lookin’ at me, Sam. I know I’ve always been protective of her, tried to be there for her through everything. The way she was looking at me made me realize that the reason I protected her all those years wasn’t that I thought she was incapable, but it was because I love her. Sam, I love y/n.” He starts to play with a loose thread on the motel’s bedspread.

“It just took me for-freaking-ever to realize it. I thought maybe she would feel the same way because of how she was looking at me, but there’s no way. She got tired of us and she left. And she obviously cares more about you because she chose to keep in contact with you over me. She can’t possibly love me back.”

At Dean’s admission, Sam’s eyes widen. “You love her? Are you sure?”

Nodding his head, and smiling a small smile, Dean answers. “Yeah, Sam. I don’t think I’ve ever loved anyone else. It’s was her when we were little, and it will always be her.”

“So you guys are together now? That’s awesome, Dean!” Sam smiles widely. “We should celebrate!”

Stopping Sam from reacting any further Dean jumps in. “No, Sam. She doesn’t know. We had just finished talking about what happened last night when you called. We promised we’d have a conversation later. But now that I’m thinking about it she’s probably better off with some guy from here who can give her a better life. She’s been our friend forever, man. I can’t risk that by telling her I love her.”

Receiving another bitch face from Sam, Dean winces. “Dean, stop being an idiot. You said you thought there might be something there, and you can’t just ignore that. You have to tell her before she walks away again.” Dean looks like he’s about to puke at the thought of telling her how he feels. “We’ve only got one more lead to check. I’ll go check this one out, I think it’ll be a dud anyway. You go see y/n and tell her about this. You can’t keep this from her, man. I’m sure she probably feels the same way.”

Sam claps him on the shoulder and leaves the motel room, encapturing Dean in silence. Reaching up to rub his neck, Dean wonders out loud. “Shit, do I have to? She’s y/n, and she’s perfect. There’s no way in hell she would ever love me back. She’s so beautiful and strong, and I just screw everything up. No. She’s better off without me. Even just telling her will be embarrassing. Sure Sam lemme just go over to her office and let her know how I feel so she can reject me face to face. Because _that_ will end well.” He mumbles to himself as he rolls his eyes.

He walks to the window and stares out, trying to decide what to do. “But I know that if I don’t do this Sam will definitely kick my ass. I guess I mind as well just tell her. Get it over with so we can move on with our lives. Hopefully, she won’t hate me too much. Okay. Let’s do this.” Grabbing his coat he heads out, the door shutting swiftly behind him.

Pulling into the parking lot Dean turns off the ignition, taking a deep breath before he gets out. As he walks to the front door of your practice his pace becomes determined and his posture becomes rigid; he’s ready to tell you everything and nobody is going to stop him.

He blows through the main door and marches right up to the receptionist. Flashing his FBI badge he says, “Excuse me, miss. I’m here about a case my partner and I are currently working, and I need to talk to Miss Y/L/N. Is she available?”

Abby, the receptionist, looks like a deer caught in headlights and Dean smirks to himself. He could never get used to women falling over him all the time. She quickly regains her composure enough to smirk back and responds. “Yes, she’s here. But she’s with a client right now. You’ll have to come check back later.”

Dean’s already determined, and this young lady’s attitude is making him want to roll his eyes. She’s definitely not helping. “You don’t understand. I have some very important matters to discuss with her and I need to talk to her right now!” She shakes her head in response.

“I’m sorry sir, but I can’t allow you to go in there. Discussions she has with her clients are confidential and it would be breaking the law if you went in.”

He starts to twiddle the pen used for the check-in sheet as his level of frustration rises. “This is part of an FBI investigation, ma’am. It would be really helpful if you were to let me in to see her.”

Holding her ground, Abby once again says, “I’m sorry sir. I can’t let you in that room. The session will be over in about ten minutes. Maybe you could wait patiently out here for her to get done.”

“You have to let me in that room! You don’t understand. If you don’t let me in that room something bad could happen!” Dean huffs and rolls his eyes as he slams the pen down. “Just know that tampering with a federal investigation is a felony, sweetheart.” He mumbles as he walks over to the couches and starts his pacing.

Dean’s pacing like a caged tiger. Abby is glaring at him the entire time and he’s pretty damn close to throwing a punch just to get her to stop staring. He’s so nervous and hell-bent on telling you everything that the second he hears voices approaching the opposite side of the door he makes his way over to your office to wait.

Once the door starts to open his nervous energy takes over and he yanks the door open, impatiently waiting for your client to walk out. The second your client is through the door Dean is throwing her an awkward smile, but laced with it is a look telling them to hurry it up. Seconds later Dean is storming through your door, pushing it shut behind him and locking it.

At the sound of the lock, you look up from where you were sitting in one of your comfy chairs and gasp in surprise, your eyes widening while taking in Dean standing in front of you. “Dean? What are you do-”

To emphasize the point he’s about to make, Dean raises his index finger to point at you which effectively shuts you up. “Listen here, Y/n. I didn’t even know what to think when you said that we should talk later. But I thought about it, and before we get to the conversation part I’ve got some things to say to you. And damn it, you’re gonna sit there quietly and listen. Got it?”

Laying your pencil down you slowly nod your head in agreement and reply with the one word you can come up with at that moment. “Okay.”


	7. Part 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean tells you some things on his mind and fluff ensues. Sam goes his own way to try and find the shape-shifter.

Reader’s POV

The last person you are expecting to walk through your office door is Dean Winchester and yet there he is, three feet in front of you. Shoving his finger in your face. When he came through your door demanding your attention, you are so taken by surprise that all you managed to do was squeak out a barely audible, “okay.”

Dean quickly starts pacing back and forth while using his hand to wipe his mouth, which is one of his tells that he’s worked up about something. Curling your feet underneath you, you open your mouth to encourage him to say something when he beats you to it.

“Y/n, don’t even open your mouth like I know you’re about to. I told you no talking which means no talking.”

You see him glance up at you, and you assume he’s trying to figure out what to say first, so you shut your mouth and wait for the man standing in front of you to speak.

Dean finally takes a deep breath, mentally preparing himself to speak. Then, he starts.

“Y/n, I don’t even know where to start. Four years ago, you walked out of our lives, and it couldn’t have broken my heart anymore than it did. I didn’t say anything though because you were a grown woman and could make your own decisions, I had to respect that. But to find out that you’ve been talking to my little brother this whole time behind my back? That made it all hurt so much worse.”

His pacing slows down as he starts to really think about what to say. “At first I thought I was just pissed because it was unfair of you to talk to him over talking to me. In those motels as kids when our dads were hunting, who was always the one to let you sleep with them? To hold you if you got scared? To make sure you got a bit of extra food when you said you were still hungry? It sure as hell wasn’t Sammy, y/n. We had this unbeatable connection growing up, and to feel like it was all for nothing when you walked away killed me. Absolutely killed me.”

You watch Dean reach his hand up to rub his brow, and knowing him like you do, you also can see the gears furiously turning in his head as he continues.

“And then last night I go over to your house and give you a royal ass chewing, only to have you take care of my drunk and pissed off self. Then with the look! Ugh. Y/n, I hope to whatever god may be up there that you don’t go around looking at other guys like that. This morning, with the way you looked at me while I was laying on your couch, it hit me.”

Your heart starts beating a little faster in anticipation of what he was about say. Looking at him, you watch as he comes to sit on the couch next to your chair, his arms resting on his knees as he glances back at you and holds eye contact.

His voice softer now, more intentional, he continues after he sighs. “It hit me like a freight train. I love you, y/n. Taking care of you as a kid, being your best friend as we grew up and always claiming we were just friends. I was so blind to what has been there the whole time. I love you, and looking back I realize that I have loved you for years, and I will always love you.”

He reached out to grasp your hand in his, causing you to blush. “You have always been a beautiful, strong and independent woman who could kick my ass in five seconds flat if you wanted to. I love all of those things about you. This morning when you looked at me, I thought I saw the same feelings in your eyes.”

Pulling his hand back, he smiles at you sadly. “But obviously you don’t feel the same way. Instead of coming to me, you went to my brother. And I want you to know that that’s okay.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Sam is a great guy. Granted he’s my brother, but if anyone is going to love you the way you deserve to be loved, other than me, then Sam’s your guy. So it’s cool with me if you want to get together with him or whatever now that I know you two have been talking all this time.”

His speech now over, you’re completely overwhelmed. Dean Winchester, the man you thought would never return your feelings, loves you? Your mouth opens slightly to say something, but nothing was coming to mind and you stay silent. Quickly you close it again. 

The two of you just sit in silence. You could tell that Dean is panicking on the inside due to the look that’s on his face currently. Before you can let him second guess this any more than he already has you lean forward, placing your hands on his cheeks and kiss him soundly on the mouth. Pulling back slightly you open your eyes to look at Dean, only to find him searching your face with his eyes.

Knowing him as long as you have you know he’s going to try and say something to dispel the tension and pretend it never happened. You’re not about to let that happen. Before he can move, you press your lips to his again, this time going to wrap your arms around his neck. The two of you are too far away, so you move from your chair and into his lap, straddling him so you can be closer.

Kissing Dean is like nothing you’ve ever experienced. Once it finally clicks in his brain that you’re kissing him, he kisses back with years worth of words and emotions left unsaid. His lips are supple and soft just like you always imagined, and one of his hands comes up to thread into your hair, pulling you closer to him. His other hand finds its way to your waist, holding you to him as the two of you continue to kiss.

Your closed mouth kissing session soon becomes heated and Dean finds himself swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, begging to taste you like he’s wanted to since he can remember. With access granted, your two tongues begin to dance together as if the two of you have been doing it for years. The two of you sit there making out for a few minutes, content to let the pace stay where it’s at. After a few minutes, you slow the pace, placing a solid chaste kiss to his already swelling lips and pull away slightly.

He looks at you with worry in his eyes, terrified that he’s done something wrong. You smile and say, “Dean, I know you said not to talk, but can I just say something?”

Still worried Dean nods. “Dean, if you think the reason I went to Sam and not you is that I like him more than you, then you’re completely wrong. I went to him because he’s known for years that I have liked you so much more than I cared to admit. I loved you too much to be able to stand watching you tear yourself down like you were after our dads died. It broke my heart to hear how little you thought of yourself and I just couldn’t take it anymore. So I left. But don’t think for a minute that I stopped loving you. It’s why I could never make myself stay mad at you either. I love you too much.”

Pulling your hands from around his neck, they find their way to cradle his face again. Looking deep into his green eyes, you add, “You hear that, Winchester? I love you. Always have, and I always will.”

Dean smiles and takes his hand from your face, going to wrap it around your waist along with his other. He leans forward to gently rest his forehead against yours. “Y/n, you have no idea how fucking happy I am to hear you say that. I love you too.”

He leans forward to capture your lips with his once again in a sweet kiss. The kiss soon turned heated as the two of you resumed making out like teenagers. His hands quickly find their way to where your hips meet your ass and pull you closer to him, his arousal making its presence known.

Feeling adventurous you pull at his bottom lip with your teeth, hearing him groan in response and feeling his hands squeezing your ass. You place a kiss on the corner of his mouth, starting a trail of hot kisses along his jawline to just below his ear where you whisper an ‘I love you’ as you continue your trail down his neck.

However, before you can suck a love bite at the place where his neck meets his collarbone you hear a loud bang followed by muffled yelling coming from the main lobby.

Dean pulls his hands up to your arms, pulling you away to look at you. “What the hell was that??”

“I have no idea.” You look at him, mentally running through every scenario possible for what could be going on out there.

The two of you freeze, trying to listen to what is going on as was could only be fighting continues. “Y/n, do you think someone is trying to steal money or something like that?”

You glance at the door, considering that option. “No, I don’t think so. Each client pays their therapist directly, so there wouldn’t be any cash at the front desk to steal.” Perking your ears to the noises going on, something clicks. “Wait a second, Dean. Is that… is that Sam I hear?”

“What the hell. It sure as hell sounds like it.” Letting go of you Dean gently nudges you to stand up so he can get to the door. “Y/n, I’m going to open the door, and no matter what is going on I want you to stay behind me, got it? None of this ‘I love you so I’m going to try and save you’ shit, okay?”

Nodding your head, you reply. “Okay. I can do that.” 

He takes a split second to look you in the eye and then grasps the base of your neck to pull you into a searing kiss. One filled with promises of being continued later. With one last peck, he turns and opens the door.

The sight you two are met with when your office door opens is one you didn’t expect. Before you can digest what is happening, you’re screaming at Sam. “Sam Winchester!! What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing fighting with my receptionist?!”

Without breaking his focus Sam responds. “Y/n, I know that Abigail here has been a good friend to you, but she’s not who you think she is. She’s been using her job here as her cover for what she really does, isn’t that right Abby?”

The two of them continue to fight and throw punches and kicks at each other, Abby effectively avoiding the silver blade that is in his hand. She suddenly gains the upper hand by throwing an uppercut to the underside of his jaw. He drops to the ground and is struggling to stay upright. “Oh look at that, Sam. Looks like I’ve got the upper hand now, don’t I?”

Dean suddenly rushes the shapeshifter, kicking her knee out from under her. “You bitch! I’ll show you the upper hand. No one hurts my brother and gets away with it.” Dean didn’t come prepared for a fight, so he doesn’t have any silver on him so instead of going for the kill he takes out all of his anger by continually punching her in the face.

You gasp as you watch Dean taking on Abby. Dean said not to get involved, but he doesn’t have anything silver on him to do any real damage. Looking around the lobby, you’re looking for anything to help at this point. Suddenly, it comes to you.

The next punch that Dean lands on Abby is when she makes her move. She grasps tightly to his arm, pulling him down to the ground while at the same time giving her some leverage to stand. She’s now standing over Dean and looks over to Sam who is still on the floor against the wall.

Abby continues talking to Dean. “If you really think that punching me is going to hurt me, you’re dumber than I thought you were, Winchester. You should know by now that the only way to kill a shapeshifter is to sta-” Her sentence remains unfinished as her eyes roll into the back of her head and she falls forward. As she crumples to the ground he sees what looks like a silver letter opener sticking out of her back, you standing behind her. 

“Yes, Abby. We all know that the only way to kill a shapeshifter is to stab or shoot them with silver. We’re really not as stupid as you think.” You then pull the opener from her back and wipe it on your pants.

Dean looks up at you and before he can say anything you continue. “Yes, Dean. I also know that you told me not to do anything stupid like trying to save you because I love you. You can’t get mad though because I didn’t do that. I did something stupid like trying to save you because she wasn’t really my friend. She was really annoying and I didn’t like her that much anyway.” You shrug your shoulders as you turn to place the opener back where it goes. Dean shakes his head and starts laughing.

Over against the wall, Sam lets out a groan as he pulls his hand away from his head, checking for blood.

Dean looks over at him as he takes his time getting up. “Hey Sammy, you good?”

Another groan comes from Sam as he slowly stands as well. “Yeah, I’m good. Just glad we had back up on that one.” He chuckles as he wipes off his jeans. Standing back at full height, Sam takes in your now destroyed office. “Hmm, so this is what your office looks like. You know, I’ve got a contact here that knows an interior designer who could do a hell of a lot better job than the tool you hired for this shit show.”

Suddenly the three of you all start laughing, taking in the state of the office and agreeing that it needs work.

Sam looks to you, and then to Dean, catching the look his brother is giving you. He smiles and then says, “So I take it you guys worked things out? You still mad at me, Dean?”

Smirking, Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we’re good Sam. I’m not mad anymore. Just.. don’t lie to me again, got it? And yes,” Dean walks to you and snakes his fingers through yours, “we did work things out. Sort of. We’ve still got a lot to talk about, but we are now on the same page at least.”

“Well in that case, I’m going to head back to the motel and give you guys some more time to talk. Sound good?”

You glance at Dean, and then back to Sam. “Yeah, that would be awesome, Sam. Thanks.” Smiling you walk over to him and give him a hug, swatting his arm as he turns to leave. “And don’t worry, I’ll let the tool know how shitty of a job I think he did with my office the next time I see him.”

You hear Sam laugh as he exits your office, and you turn back to Dean. Suddenly nervous you use your shoe to move a book that fell to the floor. “So… where does that leave us?”

Glancing up, you stare into his beautiful green eyes and your heart starts racing.


	8. Part 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and the reader have a conversation about where to go from that point.

_Smirking, Dean rolls his eyes. “Yeah, we’re good Sam. I’m not mad anymore. Just.. don’t lie to me again, got it? And yes,” Dean walks to you and snakes his fingers through yours, “we did work things out. Sort of. We’ve still got a lot to talk about, but we are now on the same page at least.”_

_“Well, in that case, I’m going to head back to the motel and give you guys some more time to talk. Sound good?”_

_You glance at Dean, and then back to Sam. “Yeah, that would be awesome, Sam. Thanks.” Smiling you walk over to him and give him a hug, swatting his arm as he turns to leave. “And don’t worry, I’ll let the tool know how shitty of a job I think he did with my office the next time I see him.”_

_You hear Sam laugh as he exits your office, and you turn back to Dean. Suddenly nervous you use your shoe to move a book that fell to the floor. “So… where does that leave us?”_

_Glancing up, you stare into his beautiful green eyes and your heart starts racing._

 

Dean reaches his free hand up to gently caress your cheek and you find yourself smiling and nuzzling into the contact. You don’t answer him right away, hoping to pull your thoughts together. “Hey, you with the gorgeous smile, you with me? Where’s your pretty little head at, hmm?”

His compliments make you blush. Finally, you feel like you’ve got a good enough hold on your thoughts and emotions to answer him. “Yeah, I’m here Dean. Just thinking about everything that’s happened over the last four years, and how on earth you could still want me after how awful I treated you.”

Dean’s brow furrows in concentration while trying to understand what you’re saying. “You feel bad? Y/n, if anyone should feel bad it should be me. I’m the one who couldn’t control my anger, or my hurt over our dads dying and by not coping with that I pushed you away. You had every right to walk away from me. I was a stupid asshat who didn’t see the good thing he had right in front of him until it was gone. So, I’m gonna ask you. Will you forgive me?”

Looking up into his green eyes you chuckle. “Dean, like I’ve told you a million times. I forgave you the day I walked out. I’ve loved you for so long and I don’t even think I know how to be angry with you.” You reach your free hand up to gently take hold of his wrist, turning your face so you could place a kiss to the palm of his hand.

“Okay, so where does that leave us? I know that you’re working here in Lawrence, but I would really like to give us a shot, y/n. I’m not going to let you walk away from me again.” He lets your intertwined fingers go and brings his hand up to your other cheek to cradle your face in his palms. “I love you and I want to be with you, y/n. If that’s what you want then we’ll figure everything else out later. But right now, I wanna know. No, I need to know. Do you want to be with me?”

You slowly place both of your hands on his chest, sliding them up in between his arms and reaching them around his neck. Letting your fingers card through the hair at the back of his neck you pull him down to meet you in a slow and loving kiss, the two of you content to just pressing your lips together. After a few seconds, you pull away, smiling as you press your forehead to his.

“Dean, I would love nothing more than to be with you. I love you too.”

He smiles as he pulls you into a more passionate kiss, taking his hands from your face to wrap around your waist to pull you closer to him. “Oh thank god, y/n,” he presses another kiss to your lips. “I love you so much. I’m done being stupid when it comes to you.”

“I’d hope so, Winchester. We’ve got years of stupid to make up for.” You smile cheekily at him and bury your face in his neck as he picks you up and spins you.

**One Year Later**

You’re at your desk in your new office, in Lebanon, penciling in an appointment when you hear the unmistakable sound of your fiancé walking through your door.

“Hey babe, just thought that you could use some lunch.” Dean walks up behind you and places a kiss on the top of your head as you sit at your desk. “I got our usual from the diner down the street. How about you take a break and join me?”

The smell of diner food has your stomach grumbling, announcing to Dean just how hungry you are. Both of you start laughing. “Well, that’s probably an amazing idea considering my tummy just threatened your life if you keep those fries from me any longer.” You leave your appointment book at your desk and walk over to the chairs where Dean has lunch spread out already.

You grab your burger and fries and instantly start shoveling the fries into your mouth. Dean raises his eyebrows in response, impressed at your appetite as of late. “Well alrighty then! I’ll just be sure to eat over here so you don’t accidentally mistake one of my fingers as a fry.” He says while making a show of moving him and his food down to the other end of the couch.

“Heyyyyy!” you playfully pout, “why are you so far away now? I’m not going to be able to steal your fries if you’re allllll the way over there.” You cross your arms and play like you’re about to cry.

“Awww, come on y/n! Don’t do the fake pouting thing. I always know you’re faking but it still kills me!” You jut out your bottom lip to add to the effect. “The pouting lip?! Ugh. Fine, fine. I’ll move back over. But only because I’ve missed my beautiful fiancée today. You’re lucky I love you, I swear.” He chuckles as he places his food back next to yours.

A smile breaks out over your face as you eat the fries in contentment. “Well, I love you too, sweetheart. Thanks for the fries, by the way. I’ve been craving them since yesterday.”

The two of you enjoy the fries for a minute, and then you hear Dean make a move to speak. “You know, y/n, I gotta say. You done good. You moved here to Lebanon to be closer to me and Sam, opened your own practice, and it’s becoming a successful business.”

He gazes at you with a look of pure adoration, and in that moment you know you’ve made the right decision in marrying this man. Putting his fries down he reaches for your hand and clasps it gently in his. “And must say that this office isn’t a dump like that last place,” the two of you chuckle at the memory of your office the day you two got together, “and I can actually walk into this place and have a nice conversation with your receptionist. She’s not a bitch like the last one.”

You bust out laughing at Dean’s jab at your old receptionist, Abby. He continues. “You’ve done good work, y/n, and I honestly couldn’t be prouder. I love you.” Leaning towards you, he places a kiss to your forehead. The two of you pull away from each other to look into each other’s eyes. Feeling playful, you lean into him again and place a kiss on the tip of his nose. “Oh yeah? Well, I guess I kinda love you, too.”

Glancing down at the fries still uneaten, you break the moment. “Okay Dean, I’m all for mushy moments, but I’m still hungry and there are still fries left to eat. Sorry, babe.” you scrunch your nose in your dorky smile at him.

You grab a fry off the table and hold it to Dean’s mouth, waiting for him to eat it. He playfully eats the fry and then tries to nibble at your thumb causing you to blush and squeal. The two of you slowly move your focus back to eating your fries for a bit, saving the best part of your meals for last. Suddenly you perk up, an idea forming in your head.

“Hey babe, you said you got our usual from the diner right?”

Scrunching his eyebrows in confusion he replies. “Yeah, you have your cheeseburger and I have my two cheeseburgers, and we both have an order of fries. Why? Did they make a mistake?”

You smile mischievously. “No, not at all. I was just curious.”

Picking up the last of your fries you ungracefully shove them in your mouth. Then, without warning, you reach over and grab Dean’s second cheeseburger that he has yet to touch and start unwrapping it.

“Heyyy! What the hell do you think you’re doing, y/n?” Dean’s look of bewilderment causes you to start laughing.

“What does it look like I’m doing, weirdo?” You’re still laughing and Dean is now mock offended.

Trying to reach past you to grab the burger back, Dean responds. “Well, _weirdo_ , it looks like you’re trying to steal my burger! Which is stupid because you’ve got your own damn burger!”

“I know that I’ve got my own burger, Dean. I’m not dumb. I’m just hungry.” You smile wide at him, letting him know that you don’t plan on relinquishing his burger to him.

“But you always get the one burger! I always have two…” Dean starts to pout, almost successfully looking sad about losing a burger. “Why the hell do you need a second burger anyway?”

Your eyes light up when he asks you this question and if it is possible you smile even wider. “Well Dean, if you must know, I need your second burgers from here on out because this mommy needs the extra food.”

Dean’s brow furrows in confusion and you sit there smiling, waiting for him to catch up. He looks at you and tilts his head a little in question. “Mommy? What the he- wait a second.”

His eyes light up as he realizes what you’re saying. “You’re eating for two? You’re pregnant!?”

The two of you jump out of your seats and he throws his arms around your waist crushing you to his chest while your arms go around his neck. He picks you up and spins you around in circles, laughing.

“You’re gonna have a baby, y/n! This is amazing!”

Pulling yourself away from Dean just far enough to look into his eyes you bring one of your hands from around his neck to cradle his cheek. “No, Dean. I’m not going to have a baby.”

Dean goes from ecstatic to heartbroken in two seconds flat. “What?? But, you said-”

Quickly cutting him off with a kiss, you pull back again. “You said I was having a baby. You’re wrong. I’m not having a baby. _We_ are having a baby, Dean. You and I, together.” You tear up as you kiss him again and finish. “I’m going to have your baby.”

Once again his face lights up when he figures out what you’re saying. He reaches up to wipe a stray tear from your cheek. “I’m gonna be a dad?? You’re having my baby… holy shit.” He starts to cry as well, the two of you laughing through the tears as he kisses you again. “I’m gonna be a dad.”

“Yeah, babe, you’re gonna be a dad.” You say to him as you cup his cheeks in your hands and look him in the eye. “We’re gonna be parents.”

He smiles as he pulls out of your embrace and sits down on the couch right in front of you, bringing him face to face with your tummy. Placing his hands on your still flat tummy he lightly rubs his thumbs across your shirt. Leaning forward he places a kiss in between his hands. You reach a hand up to card through his hair.

“Hey baby, it’s your daddy. Just wanted to let you know that even though you’re still in your mommy’s tummy you are so, so loved. I love you, and I know your mommy loves you too. And I know your Uncle Sammy is gonna love you too. You’re going to be an awesome Winchester. These next few months are going to take forever, but I already can’t wait to meet you.”

Whispering a couple more things to your tummy that you don’t quite catch, Dean finishes up. He places another kiss to your tummy and then looks up at you. Tears are freely streaming down your face as you card your fingers through his hair. He stands up, reaches his hands up to caress your cheeks and wipe away your tears. Your arms wrap around his torso as he pulls you in for a kiss that is so full of emotion and love, and Dean holds you to him as if he is at risk of losing you.

He pulls away, places a kiss to your forehead and then the tip of your nose as well and then nuzzles his nose to yours and looks into your eyes as your foreheads lean against each other. “Y/n, you have no idea how happy you’ve made me. I will never be able to tell you how much I love you.”

Smiling back at him you whisper back. “I love you too, Dean. Like I’ve said. I’ve always loved you, and I always will. Nothing will ever change that. I’m just so glad that I get to spend the rest of my life with you.”

He lightly squeezes you in his arms. “It’s gonna be me, my love, and our baby forever.”


End file.
